The Battle for Structure

We marriage and family therapists often have to engage in what we call a Battle for Structure with clients. It's kind of a pre-therapy intervention we do with clients to maximize their engagement with therapy - a way of non-verbally getting the client to take personal responsibility for engaging in therapy. If therapists lose this battle by being over accommodating or handholding the client, the client typically does not make progress or benefit from therapy. Once the Battle for Structure is won, the client can then engage in the Battle for Initiative, taking personal responsibility for their mental health and wellness (attending appointments, completing homework, applying therapeutic techniques and interventions).

If the Battle for Structure is not won by the therapist, it's almost pointless for therapy to continue because clients won't engage or move forward significantly. This may be one of the down sides of person-centered therapy (meeting the client where they are at), which overly accommodates and validates the client's point of view, such that they win the Battle for Structure, and thus do not take ownership of their growth. Instead, they expect the therapist to "cure" them, which is not how therapy works.

Have I Achieved Lasting Healthy Lifestyle Change?

I have been tracking my diet and exercise daily for the past six months (using the free Lose It app for my Android phone) as part of a successful gambit to lose 50 pounds. An exception to this is when I go on vacations. I allow myself full freedom to eat whatever and whenever I want, and the only exercise I usually get is from walking around seeing cool things at the places I visit.

So, I was pleasantly surprised when I got back from a 6-day trip to the south rim of the Grand Canyon and found that I had not gained any weight at all. In fact, I had lost a pound.

That got me wondering, have I achieved lasting healthy lifestyle change?

I had heard about this concept of lasting healthy lifestyle change before, but I never thought it could happen to me. The idea is that when you do something consistently for long enough, it becomes second nature (or second order change, as we say in the vernacular of marriage and family therapy).

In addition to measuring my caloric intake each day, I guess I had also subconsciously started to make healthier choices about what kinds of food to eat. The logic was simply that by choosing to eat more fruits and vegetables, instead of junky caloric food, I could stay within my dietary guidelines set by my weight loss goal. I like to make and eat food. Fruits and veggies are lower in calories per unit weight, so I know that I can eat more of them on a given day without exceeding my calorie quota (set by the Lose It! Android app).

I don't know if I have achieved lasting healthy lifestyle change, but I may have.